‘I Was a Teenage Umber Hulk!’ Confessions of a D&D Kid by Jason S. Ridler

I’m very happy to welcome back to the blog author Jason S. Ridler for another guest post. I’ve previously reviewed Jason’s first two Spar Battersea thrillers, Death Match and Con Job, and tomorrow I’ll be reviewing the third installment, Dice Roll. Today, however, Jason has a story to tell about his realization that his years spent playing Dungeons and Dragons as a teenager were really training to be an author.

Jason S. RidlerRemember the 1980s? When thermonuclear war and Webster filled the TV, heavy metal was turning kids into Satanist, and GI Joe waged the first war on terror without one casualty on either side? Yo Joe!

But from that lost era of Valley Girls, New Coke, and Manimal’s mammoth eight-episode run on the idiot box, there was another pop culture phenomenon poised to take over the nation: Role Playing Games, aka the non-lethal variety of “RPGs.” Games of high adventure set in the imagination and at the kitchen table, where funny shaped dice and human agency decided the fate of magical kingdoms, intergalactic empires, and desolate post Armageddon landscapes. Dungeons and Dragons (D&D), the God Emperor of RPGs, took off like gangbusters and has influenced the pop culture sphere forever (there’s a new documentary on it, too!)

But RPGs were no mere fun and games. This greasy kid stuff was feared to be more lethal than rock and roll, comic books, and peanut allergies COMBINED!

D&D was soon spoken of in shadowy whispers alongside suicides, witchcraft and Satanism. There was the Dallas Egbert, Jr. “Steam Tunnel” incident of 1980, that led to a police investigation and a book called The Dungeon Master, all of which resulted in the mind blowing film Mazes and Monsters, where a young Tom Hanks plays a kid who suffers a psychotic break while playing a fantasy RPG, never to return.

Playing D&D, parents feared, was “dangerous.”

Foolproof by Dianne Emley

You’re probably familiar with LA Times bestselling author Dianne Emley’s outstanding Detective Nan Vining thrillers, but did you know that before there was Nan there was Iris? Emley first entered the writing scene in the 90s (under the name Dianne G. Pugh) with a mystery series featuring investment counselor Iris Thorne. That series is now being reissued, both in paperback and ebook formats.

Foolproof by Dianne Emley“Once you commit an act contrary to the laws of society, it’s easy for people to think you’ll do it again, or do something even worse.” – Kip Cross

Iris Thorne doesn’t go looking for trouble, but somehow it always seems to find the young financial adviser. Foolproof, the fourth entry in author Dianne Emley’s Iris Thorne series, finds Iris trying to settle into her position as branch manager for LA based McKinney Alitzer and tackle the task of being a first-time homeowner. If only those were her biggest headaches.

Already working to help her friend Bridget Cross and her husband, Kip, navigate the choppy waters of taking their successful online gaming company Pandora public, things take a dramatic turn when Bridget is shot dead in her mansion’s backyard. Turns out Kip wasn’t keen on the idea of the company going public, which quickly rockets him to the top of the suspect list.

Complicating matters even further, Bridget’s murder was witnessed by the couple’s five-year-old daughter, Brianna, whom Bridget named as the heir to her majority stake in Pandora, with Iris named as the administrator of Brianna’s trust. This puts Iris in the crosshairs of everyone from Kip, who wants the company kept private, to corporate raider T. Duke Sawyer, who wants to buy the company out for a lowball offer given Kip’s legal troubles, to Pandora’s top employees, who are split on which direction they want the company to go. And someone is determined to get their way on the issue, even if it’s over Iris’s dead body.

Babies, Books and Electric Fencing by Chuck Wendig

Very pleased to welcome penmonkey extraordinaire Chuck Wendig back to the bog. Friday I’ll be reviewing Mockingbird, the sequel to Wendig’s fantastic Blackbirds, but today Chuck’s doing a little wondering out loud about what may happen when his 16-month-old son is finally old enough to read pop’s writing.

Chuck WendigI won’t let my son read the Miriam Black books.

Not until he’s, ohhh, in his early 30s or so.

Okay. Fine. Maybe a bit extreme. Late 20s, then.

He’s a toddler, now. Loves books. A little sponge for the tales of the Little Blue Truck or that damn Bird Who Thinks Maybe A Wrecked Car Is His Mother. Or Elmo. Or Big Bird. Or any of those hippos and their belly buttons.

The Miriam Black books are, to put it kindly, filthy as shit. Grimy, greasy, snarky. Caked with blood. Slick with fluids. Vulgarity running through the walls of each tale like oh-so-many-cock-a-roaches. They’re violent. And not very nice. And utilize a rather twisted sense of humor.

Murder and fingerbanging and car accidents and blumpies.

Don’t know what a blumpy is? No, no, don’t Google it. It’s, uhh, in the first book. Blackbirds. Go get a copy and Miriam Black will tell you.

See, and that’s what I’m worried about. I’m worried one day my son—at age eight, twelve, twenty—will come up to me and explain that he had never before heard the term “blumpy,” and now, thanks to his own father, he stands illuminated.

That’s it, right there. The death of innocence. Crushed beneath my narrative bootheel like a little delicate snowglobe. Pop, crash, yuck.

Foolproof Dreams and Foolish Schemes by Dianne Emley

Very happy to welcome back LA Times bestselling author Dianne Emley for a continuing look at her Iris Thorne series. I’ll be reviewing the series’s fourth entry, Foolproof, tomorrow. Originally published in the early 90s, it’s been an interesting experience for Dianne to revisit books she hadn’t looked at in a decade.

Dianne EmleyThank you, Elizabeth, for hosting my guest posts about my experiences revisiting my first mystery series which featured Iris Thorne–a single, sexy, and ambitious Los Angeles investment adviser. The books were originally published by Simon and Schuster in the nineties and were long out-of-print. They’ve been refreshed and are now available for the first time as e-books and trade paperbacks.

Before reissuing the Iris Thornes, I decided to reread them because I’d lost touch with their nuances over the years. Of course, I couldn’t help but polish them, just a little. In the process, I embarked on a more significant journey of reconnecting with the writer, and the person, I was back then.

Today, I’m discussing my path to Foolproof, the fourth Iris, recently again on-sale. The first three Irises, Cold Call, Slow Squeeze, and Fast Friends, are also out now. The fifth and final Iris Thorne mystery, Pushover, never before published in the U.S., will be out later this year.

In Foolproof, first published in 1998, Iris’s work life and personal life brutally collide when her dear friend Bridget is murdered by the backyard pool of her oceanfront mansion. The horrific crime is witnessed by Bridget’s five-year-old daughter, Brianna. The prime suspect is Bridget’s husband and Brianna’s father Kip, the volatile creative genius behind the couple’s computer games company, Pandora. Bridget shocked everyone when she left her majority stake in Pandora not to her husband but to her daughter and named Iris as administrator of Brianna’s trust. Iris is now responsible for a little girl’s financial future—and perhaps even the five-year-old’s life.

Day by Day by Shaun Jeffrey

Day by Day by Shaun Jeffrey“I told you they don’t care about you. Not like me. I’ll take care of you.” – Trevor

Fifteen-year-old Tina is living a life that is unfortunately all too common in today’s world. Her parents are divorced. She only sees her father occasionally. Her mother brings home a new boyfriend seemingly every other week and has no time for Tina. And then there’s her older sister, who Tina resents for getting to do all the things Tina isn’t allowed to.

Things start to change when Tina’s mother brings home her latest boyfriend, Trevor. Far from ignoring Tina, Trevor gives her little gifts and lets her “in” on jokes only the two of them share. Starved for attention and driven by her desire to be treated like an adult, Tina doesn’t sense the danger Trevor presents. By the time she realizes his true intentions, it may be too late.

Known mostly for his police procedurals and horror writing, Day by Day continues author Shaun Jeffrey’s slow branching out into new territory, something we first saw in Dead World. In many ways, however, Day by Day is actually the most horrific thing Jeffrey has written given its subject matter.

The Ninth Step by Grant Jerkins

The Ninth Step was one of my Top 10 Reads of 2012

The Ninth Step by Grant Jerkins“You do not ease your own burden by transferring it to others to carry. That strikes to the very heart of the ninth step. First, do no harm.” – Martha

To be fair, veterinarian Helen Patrice never set out to do harm. Not when she slowly slipped from college party girl into functioning alcoholic, slamming shots from mini bottles throughout the day at work at her vet hospital.

Not when she’d go out in the evenings to one of her rotating cycle of bars and get so hammered that the next day she’d barely remember the anonymous sex she’d engaged in with some stranger in the bathroom or parking lot.

And certainly not that fateful evening after one of those alcohol drenched bar hops when she was involved in a hit and run accident. No, Helen never set out to do harm. But what she did after the harm was done…

High school geometry teacher Edgar Woolrich was driving the other car involved in Helen’s accident. He and his wife, who’d announced her pregnancy earlier that evening, were on their way home after a night out celebrating the news. Unfortunately, their route home took a life-altering detour: Edgar’s through the ER, his wife and unborn child’s through the morgue.

Some Thoughts on the Ninth Step by Grant Jerkins

A Very Simple Crime was one of my Top 10 Reads of 2010. At the End of the Road was one of my Top 10 Reads of 2011. What do those books have in common (other than being spectacular)? They were both written by Grant Jerkins, whom I am thrilled to welcome today for a guest post in advance of his latest release, The Ninth Step (September 4th from Berkley). My review of The Ninth Step will be coming on Tuesday, but I’ll go ahead and tell you this much…Grant’s now 3 for 3 on that whole “Top 10 Reads” list thing.

Grant JerkinsI quit drinking. About a year ago. “Quit” may be too strong a word for it. Stopped. Let’s say I stopped drinking. I didn’t slow down my alcohol consumption, I stopped it. I had to. I was killing myself.

Reminds me of the joke where a cop pulls a guy over for running a stop sign. The guy protests and says, “But I almost stopped. I slowed down and made sure it was safe to proceed. That’s the same thing.”

The officer asks the man to exit his vehicle. He pushes the guy over the hood of his car and starts beating the shit out of him with his baton. “Now tell me,” the cop says, “you want me to slow down? Or stop?”

I think that’s a pretty good analogy for alcohol abuse. At some point, you realize you have to slow down or stop. And, as evidenced above, stopping is the far wiser (and ultimately less painful) choice.

The Ninth Step is about a lot of things. It’s about guilt and forgiveness, secrets and lies, chaos and order. It’s about getting clean. It’s about life and the cure for it. And it’s about drinking. Stopping. Not slowing down. But stopping.

Cadaver in Chief by Steve Hockensmith

Cadaver in Chief by Steve HockensmithThe Surgeon General has determined that prolonged exposure to online political “discussion” leads to self-righteous vitriol, the spread of semi-literate misinformation, toxic levels of perverse asshattery and absolutely nothing worthwhile.

The Surgeon General hasn’t really issued such a proclamation, but retiring Washington Tribune reporter Jan Woods is of the opinion every political blog and news website should be required to carry just such a warning.

So imagine her displeasure when a mere two days before her retirement kicks in she’s assigned to investigate a rumor about the President. A rumor that started on the political blog TruthBuffet.org (“Where Justice Is Served”). A rumor that the POTUS, Brick Bradley, is in fact a zombie.

The country may well be in the midst of a major battle to contain the undead, who’ve been rising from their graves at an alarming rate, but surely there’s no way the President could actually be a zombie without someone having noticed. Right? Well…

Much to her increasing curiosity, the more Woods pokes around trying to disprove the rumor the more it looks like there really is some kind of cover-up going on. With both her retirement and the election looming, it becomes a race against time to get to the bottom of things and determine once and for all whether the POTUS is just another brain dead politician, or an honest-to-goodness dead dead member of the shambling hordes who walk amongst us.

Politically Indirect: Why I Hide My Politics from My Readers by Steve Hockensmith

Cadaver in Chief author Steve Hockensmith is one of those wonderfully gifted writers who seems as comfortable writing short stories (Blarney: 12 Tales of Lies, Crime & Mystery) as he does novels (World’s Greatest Sleuth!). He also has a delightfully warped sense of humor – Exhibit A: His author photo – which he puts to great use in explaining why he chooses not to share his political beliefs on social media.

Steve HockensmithAs a genre author who’s achieved a certain level of success (that level: “not much”), I’m expected to cheerfully embrace social media in all its forms. After all, technology has handed me these wonderful tools for making new connections and strengthening old bonds — and, more importantly, selling people shit — all while I sit in a cluttered home office/glorified closet wearing sweats so smelly they could throw bloodhounds off the scent two counties away. Surely every writer’s dream come true!

Yet Facebook and Twitter and the like can be a double-edged sword for an author. On the one hand, now your readers can get to know you on a direct, personal level. On the other hand, now your readers can get to know you on a direct, personal level.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not stalkers I’m afraid of. I still don’t have any even after publishing five mysteries and two zombie novels. Not a single Randy Quaid mugshot lookalike has carved my name into his arm with a razor blade, nor have any albino book hoarders sent me postcards with messages like “I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE” written with the urine of their own half-feral cats. It’s disappointing.

No, my problem with Twitter and Facebook has nothing to do with the obsessed, psychotically possessive fans I’m not lucky enough to have. My readers seem to be, for the most part, decent, balanced, intelligent people. (I’m excluding the guy who keeps trying to get me to play FarmVille.)

But here’s the rub. I’ve been followed and “friended” by hundreds of people who’ve read my books. And because I get to see the things they post and share and comment on, I’ve learned something important about them.

At least half of them would hate my guts if they really knew me.